The first time was dealt with in a very straightforward way with the school monitoring the girl – it turned out my daughter was not her only victim and the girl had many problems. The emotional bullying was more complex. We talked about it a lot and I tried to help her feel able to cope, and in the end I could see we needed to involve the teacher. The teacher handled it very well, by not blaming them, but explaining to the girls that what seemed fun to them was hurtful to my daughter and also letting them know that if it continued the headteacher would be informed. It stopped and my daughter then began to make new friends. I think it’s really important when dealing with bullying to do as that teacher did and not end up bullying the bullies!

I think your point about talking to someone else is very important because sometimes when a teacher is involved the child who is doing the bullying will take more notice – a parent could be seen as taking sides, whereas a teacher would be seen as impartial – but I think this can depend on the situation and each parent needs to decide what is best for their child.

Perhaps surprisingly, there is evidence that kids who bully are actually trying to get close to the one they bully, but don’t have the social skills to express that.