Comments on: The Truth About Santa

By: Salma

Salma — Sun, 26 Jul 2020 16:41:52 +0000

In reply to laura. Thanks for your thoughtful comment Laura. And you are right about the magic of a little imagination and spark :)

By: laura

laura — Sun, 03 Dec 2017 01:56:39 +0000

I find these comments very interesting. I am a mother of three boys now 12 9 and 8 months. I never really lied to my children about Santa I left it to their imagination. I was brought up Christian with the belief in Santa and my parents never told me there wasn’t I just kind of grew out of it on my own probably around 11 or 12. And I just continued to pretend because it made the holiday season fun. Now when my oldest questions Santa and his existence I simply say” if you don’t believe you don’t receive” and I give him a wink. So he knows that if he continues and doesn’t ruin it for his brother “Santa” will put a gift under the tree. I don’t generally believe in line to my kids but if their imagination runs wild and produces a little spark in their eye then I feel it’s harmless. I remember when I was little it always made things magical to think someone snuck in and gave us gifts and filled are stocking. And as an adult now I enjoy doing that for my children. My oldest sister had four children and told them by the time they were in grade 1 that Santa was not real she however did not tell them not to tell others and I think it caused some conflict of months the cousins from time to time but they are all great kids so I really don’t think it matters in the long run. It’s all about how you want to spend your holiday. To me Santa is about the spirit of Christmas giving more than a man in a red suit, But I do appreciate the fact that you and your children are considerate of others beliefs as it is important for others to be taught the same towards yours.

By: Salma

Salma — Fri, 01 Dec 2017 02:21:18 +0000

In reply to Nasheena. I agree, it's a wonderful time of the year and perfect to start your own traditions and celebrations!

By: Nasheena

Nasheena — Fri, 01 Dec 2017 01:49:22 +0000

Thanks for your post salma. Mo and I were unsure what to do about Christmas with the lil one this year as we both knew at a very young age that there was no santa. We’ve decided that were are going to have our own little holiday traditions and always be honest about Santa with our son. Even though he’s too little to understand anything just yet, when he does have questions we will be honest and keep our fingers crossed that he doesn’t ruin it for other children. I don’t see it as lying or not allowing him to use his imagination, I’d just like to paint a different picture. Not everyone needs to believe in the same thing. It’s a wonderful time of year and I see no reason why we cannot indulge in a general holiday spirit. I love the idea of a holiday tree and and diy ornaments.
We’re thinking of doing a holiday movie with coco and cookies on the 24th and presents over pancakes on the 25th. Yay!

By: Sarah M

Sarah M — Mon, 21 Dec 2015 14:53:28 +0000

I don’t think letting your child believe in Santa is lying. Otherwise, telling them any story and letting them believe it is lying. Childhood is about imagination, and believing in stories is part of it. I think it’s more about the wonder and excitement for them, and I want my son to believe as long as he can. It’s a part of childhood that I want him to look back on fondly. I don’t know any person who was angry at their parents for letting them believe in Santa.

By: Barb Hudson

Barb Hudson — Sun, 20 Dec 2015 06:23:55 +0000

In reply to Barb Hudson. Just putting a little more because I read a lot of posts that parents feel we are lying to our children. We read them books that are nursery stories that have been told down the ages. Are they lies? No they are just stories and when and if they ask about Santa you can just tell them it is a story that lots of folks love to hear and that it is the other children's parents to talk to them about the "truth" about Santa and elves and the North Pole. And my understanding the Santa I grew up with and my children and now my grandchildren have and are growing up goes all over the world treating all children the same. And that is also the reason Santa only brought each of my children one gift each year because if he left them tons of presents some other child might not get one present. Again, they are in the mid 40's and don't hold any of it against their father and I. Peace On Earth whatever you believe is my wish for all of you.

By: Barb Hudson

Barb Hudson — Sun, 20 Dec 2015 06:14:49 +0000

I have told you before that I grew up in a Children’s Home and we were very lucky that the city and the service clubs had Christmas parties for us and Santa was always there. I don’t remember asking anyone any questions about him until I was 8 or 9 when I saw one Santa taking off his “beard” and hat with his hair that came off with the hat! I had my two little sisters and the other kids in the home and never said anything that I knew Santa was just a man, or in our case, many nice men that took the time to make children happy. And we had the same man dressed as Santa every Christmas Day just after lunch to give us our presents that were under the tree in the dining room, and he brought a sack with at least one gift for all 65 kids. When I had my own children, I carried on except Santa only brought one gift for each of the girls and their stockings were filled by him as well. It was their hard working parents gave them the rest of the gifts. I don’t remember them asking too many questions and when the oldest told me she knew Santa was just a guy or a bunch of guys, I did ask her not to tell her younger sister or other children because that was a parent’s job. You are a great Mom and the questions your son is asking and the answers you give are good. He won’t end up on the Shrink’s couch and neither will you.

By: Taslim Jaffer

Taslim Jaffer — Mon, 15 Dec 2014 05:14:21 +0000

This is a really tough call, Salma! We never celebrated Christmas growing up either except we used it as an excuse to have a family dinner (usually bhiryani lol). And when we had our first child we thought we wouldn’t celebrate it and instead made a really big deal out of Navroz (and still do). But when she was in Kindergarten, we literally on a whim decided to put up a tree and do the Santa thing because she was so enchanted by what she heard at school that we wanted to just go with it. So this is our third year with a tree.
We make it a point to tell our kids that Christmas is about Prophet Jesus’s birthday, and we don’t actually perpetuate the Santa thing. We just take their lead like they’re teaching us about him, rather than we are telling them.
I think what we will do when we see our kids starting to not believe anymore is we’ll tell them that Santa represents one form of the spirit of giving. Some people say St. Nick was real once upon a time, but now he’s just a really beautiful idea of magic and giving.
And if they are at an age where their classmates might still believe in Santa, then we’ll just ask them not to say anything or their friends’ feelings could get hurt. Then cross our fingers and hope for the best?! Right now when they ask questions I can’t answer about him, I just say “I don’t really know everything there is to know about Santa.”
Don’t know if that helps – and sorry this was a mini-essay!

By: Anna Fitfunner

Anna Fitfunner — Thu, 11 Dec 2014 22:05:10 +0000

We don’t celebrate Christmas in our house either. We never really spent a lot of time explaining or discussing Santa Claus; we just explained that he didn’t stop at our house. I think that, by now, the truth is starting to dawn on our little guy (who at 7 isn’t so little any more!), so we may just grow out of this conundrum. Good luck with your kids!

By: Salma

Salma — Mon, 16 Dec 2013 18:21:26 +0000

In reply to Bonnie Gean. I totally agree Bonnie, I can't tell the truth about one thing and then lie about another!

By: Salma

Salma — Mon, 16 Dec 2013 18:20:46 +0000

In reply to Michael Levanduski. It is a definitely a difficult situation. I guess as parents, we eventually find the best way to deal with it with our children. Thanks for your comment.

By: Salma

Salma — Mon, 16 Dec 2013 18:19:45 +0000

In reply to Rochelle Gordon. Thank you for your response Rochelle, it is definitely a topic that can be touchy. And I do feel a responsibility to be true to my child and that should be the most important thing.

By: Bonnie Gean

Bonnie Gean — Sun, 15 Dec 2013 02:55:28 +0000

Well, if you tell kids there is no Santa Claus, then you better tell them there is no Easter Bunny, too!

You can’t tell one lie and hold the other back. 🙂

As far as your son telling other children… he may and then again he may not, but if he does – the child he tells will definitely go home and ask his/her parents if what your son said is true.

LET THEM deal with their children as they see fit, but if this were my son, I would be honest with him.

By: Michael Levanduski

Michael Levanduski — Sat, 14 Dec 2013 23:36:11 +0000

What my parents did, and I’m doing to my kids is, when they ask those types of questions, just turn it around on them.

Them: “Dad, is santa real”
Me: “What do you think son?”

Them: “Dad, where does Santa go after Christmas”
Me: “Where do you think he would go?”

When they finally get really direct and demand an answer, that is when it is time to tell them the truth.

My kids (8 & 9) just got confirmation that Santa isn’t real, though I think they suspected last year. I told them that he wasn’t, and he was based on St. Nick and all that. Then told them that it was important not to tell other kids, because that is their parents job to do when they want.

It worked out well for me, and my kids seem fine.

I don’t look at it as lying, but just telling a story. I don’t start every kids book I read them with, “This isn’t real, it is just a story.” and that’s not lying, so why would this be?

Either way, difficult to know what to do. Good luck!

Michael

By: Rochelle Gordon

Rochelle Gordon — Sat, 14 Dec 2013 19:03:53 +0000

In reply to Salma.

Hi Salma, I am the grandmother of a 7 year old boy. My son, his father, was raised Jewish to please my parents. His wife is not and celebrates Xmas. They make a big deal out of both Hanuka and Xmas. I am spiritual with no religion (if any it is Eastern philosophy) and don’t believe in lying to kids. This Santa thing is a tough call. A few weeks ago when the subject of not being “naughty” came up I said to my grandson, “Don’t believe everything you hear about Santa, especially in songs.” His parents were in the car with us. If they were angry with me, they said nothing.

When you asked about telling your son and if he would understand about not telling other kids. I think asking him not to tell is just perpetuating the lie. The good news here is that he is 4. At that age they ask a lot of questions. Most times all they want is an answer and then they are on to another topic. Asking questions is the mind’s auto-response learning habit. The answers really don’t matter, You might just tell him your truth about Santa and leave it at that.

I make decisions about whether or not to say things to people that may upset them. In many instances I tell myself that if I have a need to speak my truth and it is not something they want to hear, how they react is not my responsibility. My responsibility is to be true to myself. I say this because if you feel it is your responsibility to be true to your child, that’s where you can determine your answer, not in how other people will handle it.

Well I can see this subject must have touched a nerve in me. 🙂 Sorry I rambled on for so long.