There doesn’t seem to be a real definition for Mommy Guilt, it’s just a feeling that mother’s (and father’s) get overcome with. And the range for this is far reaching. Whether you feeling bad for getting angry at your child, for not spending enough time with them, for leaving them when you go to work or for spending time on yourself, the reasons for this guilty feeling are endless.
This is something that constantly pop’s up for me and talking to other mom’s, I know I’m not alone. And the guilt starts early.
When they were babies and crying all the time, I would feel guilty and wonder if I’m doing enough for them or if I’m doing things right.
When I’d hear and see what all these other mom’s were doing for this kids in terms of outings and crafts and activities, I would question if I was doing enough.
Then when I went back to work, I felt guilty for leaving them and would try and compensate after I came home.
Now, that I am not working at the moment, I am at home with the kids and I still feel the guilt. It’s insane! How is that possible?
To be clear, I am not feeling guilty 24 hours a day, but things happen and I start to question.
For example, this past week, I got a few free passes to try out some classes at gym’s near my home. And classes are something I used to really enjoy, so I was excited to go. I went on Wednesday and left my kids with one of their grandparents. I went on Friday and left them with another grandparent and I went on Sunday again. I felt so great and had so much fun! I decided to get a membership so I could continue this. I picked a class to go to on Monday, but the night before I started being plagued with feelings of guilt! I didn’t want to leave my kid’s alone so many mornings just so I could work out. I should be taking them to more activities, programs and doing fun things for them so they grow up to be well rounded and adjusted kids.
So what do I do? I know it’s important for me to take care of myself and also do things I enjoy, but is it at the kid’s expense? How do you find that right balance? And what happen’s when I go back to work. How can I work and exercise? Then I’ll never spend enough time with the kids.
See, it’s this vicious circle of thinking. And I’ve read many articles that tell my why I shouldn’t feel guilty and logically I understand. But how do you tell your emotions that it’s okay, that the kids are fine, they still love you and everyone is going to be okay?
It’s a pretty tough situation. If you’ve felt the same way, how do you deal with it? What’s your solution to Mommy Guilt?